PokeCraft
by Sins of a Starcrafter
Summary: Jim Raynor discovers the possibilities of a new universe at war, and starts its ass.
1. Chapter 1

Jim raynor woke up in a sweat, sweat glistening on his muscular body. "was that a dream?" he ponfificated to himself? "no, i hope not" he responded to himself.

The dream was the same as it was always the same dream. weird red and white balls rolling around raynors feet... the words "squirtle, squirlte," echoed in his head, scaring him in the night. one night he felt tingling all over his body. "kerrigan?" he mumbles in sleep mumbling. No, it was a weird striped yellow rat, mumbling "pika".

What could raynor do, he couldnt tell his men, theyd say he was drinking again, or worse...

Then one night he decided to go on patrol, make sure there no spartan fags around, if there were he would blast them with his grenade on his bike. He sepd down the valleys of the foresaken planet, when he saw a ball... a red and white ball.

"what the fuck?" he obviously said.

he picked up the pokeball, whats a pokeball? well, in a diffrent universe there amny people who would catch wild animals with these devices. those animals were called pokemons, and they were from the world of pokemen.

and raynor was from the world of starcraft...

This is

the world of

PokeCraft

Gordon freeman was walking down the valley, with his crowbar, when raynor ran his ass over in the speeder bikes, holding the mysterious pokeball of destiny. it felt cold and hard in his hands, just like master chiefs no longer beating heart nexyt week. shit yeah.


	2. Chapter 2

Jim Raynor wondered late into the night, why me? why did i find the pokeball? but it didnt mattrer, he was already battling to the death with kerrigan... while having sex with her, it was amazing... ly deadly. The rage, the tentacles, the zerg lube rubbing in his body. Squirtle helped, when he wasmt fightin her charzar.

"Oh raynor!" kerrigan screamed as her fifth orgasm passed... "please me then ill kill you!"

"shit yeah" he grunted, he grunted hard.

He awoke in sweats, wondering what he just saw. Kerrigan was dead, or was she? she couldnt possibly find the same magic balls as his, or the pokeball he foind either. thats when he saw the most freakish fucking thing evers. that yellow rat thing with the weird tale.

"pika pika? pikachu!" it said.

"hi, mr. pikachu" raynor said. "im jm raynor, space marine, and genral badass".

"pika pika?"

"damn straight little nuddy, i wonder what the zerg will think of yu."

days week latr when the zerg attack raynors base, he sent out his pokeman.

"go pikachuuuuuu!" he said with dramatic flair.

the yellow ratthing flew out of the magic ball of destiny and destrution, flew over the heads of the rushign zerlgings and let loose an electric fury of massive proportions!

"PIKA PIKA!!!!!!!!" HE SAID AS ELECTIRICTY DESTROYED THEIR ARM.

As the smoke cleared, and the marines feastewd on the barbecued zerglings, raynor slapped his pokepet on the back.

"pika?"

shit yeah.


	3. Chapter 3

Kerrigan cum hard on the wet back of the water tyyrtle. her clit felt so hard, as womans clits tend to, because ive totally seen that shit. really, i have. end of authors note.

------------------------------

Jim raynor loved his new furry rat of dustruction, he was happy thatr it helped him winzorz over the rushing zerglings, anihhalting them in seconds. but what happens, ge wonders, when two of these pokemans eet?

Jim was in Pain. He knowed he was goeeng to become en pokeman. pokemans has Enfestid the Command Senter. Most of his freinds nd commanders was alreddy caut. For him, it was only a matter of time. He knew he was doomed, but part of him still holded up hope.

Jim was a CMC Marene. He had bean for severel yeers now. In teh past, he had to undergo newtral resoshalization. He cuden't stand it back then, but now he was use to it. As he reminissed, pokemans bursted throogh the wall, into the Armery.

"NO!" Yelled John. "You will not kill me!" Then jim picked up his Guass Rifle and shoted at the pokemans. He died them. Splatered with pokeman blood, he sed "I must get out of here!"so he shot more holes in the wall and asploded out into the command room. Jim then growned. He felt the Enfestashen in him. He sed "I need to get to a Medek!"He found more pokeman. They shoot needle spines at Jim but he shoot at the pokemans. The pokemans drop dead almost instently.

Jim then turned on the consoul. He speaked into the microfown. "My name is Jim Rainer. Is there anyone lisseneng? I need some evaquashin here! ANYONE?!" But all Jim herd was the crackering of the speaker.

Jim then faltered. Above him he saw Kerrigan. "No!" He yelled. "The Kerrigan!!" And he tried to Gauss the Kerrigan, but the Kerrigan could not be Gaussed. The Kerrigan's Caripase was to hard for Jim's Gauss Rifle to penetrate. The Kerrigan then flew a spor into Jim. "NOOO!!" He shouted. "This canot happin! I must kill the Pokemans"

But someone was on the other consoul. He said "No Jim, you are the Pokeman"

John was doomed, and lost all hope. He was now an Pokeman.

he awoke, pika was licking his mouth erotically. jim was disturbed, but he awoke in a sweet. pika was looking sext, in the cold moonlight off the wall. jim smiled, and opened his mouth wide for pikas long sexy poketongue.

"im alice, and not a pokeman, other wise we could fuck, little budddy" raynor said triumphant "SHIT YEAH!"


	4. Chapter 4

OK GUYZ, enough. The random private messages are enough. BUT i am not going to suck on a gun barell, whatev that maens. im tired of all you lsoers bithcing about my grammar, i check this in wordpad, it says its ok. but of cuors itd be like micrfo$t to gip me and not inculde the specheck.

So heres why i havent updated soon lately. fucking parents. im tired of my godadmfhsh parents being so gya when it comes to the interwebs. they complian im spending too much time with starcraft online, playing my gameboy while zerg rushing,so they took me on a trip out of state till they thouht it was out of my system,. they were wrong, dead fkucing wrong. so, i got back last week, when it turned out they cancelled our internets! wtf! i just want to go write my fanfic and ti can not conect. so im at the library, using a floppy disc to upload stuff and save stuff.

i hate all the aholes who are flaming my reviews, while is tandby bowerless to do anmything. i dont write random reviews of my stuff, thats bullsiht. and whoever the fyuck is impersonating hawkgay is an ahole too. i wantd honest critice from him, and he hates it cuz of you. thankz fcuk. so im being besieged on all sides though most of this is good stuff. ill tell you at my shcool lotof poepl apericated my wirting. the fact you all lie is horribkle, most of you dont even read the stories. the only one to quote the stpru did it anonoumysly so as not to be harrased. Aphotica, thank you for the compliments, but stop being a cowrd. stop using machoman to hide from the flamers and then flame me so they thinkz you hte the stryo. you pmed and say you love it and wrote a wonderful review, then review with your name, badly i mayt ade.

Fuck you guys, i will not stop posting unless twenty reviews from now on tell me to. seroius dudez, it aint colo.


	5. Chapter 5

Wednesday, raynorZ has a dreammmmm

The moment Brenda started driving, Mewtwo dropped his illusion. She glanced over, and scowled.

(If you're not careful, your face will freeze like that.)

"Hasn't happened yet. Are you sitting on your tail?"

(No, Detective.) Mewtwo's mental voice gave the impression of a sigh. (Why do you ask?)

"Because you look uncomfortable." Brenda muttered a curse and stomped on her breaks. "Hey! You! Fucking watch where you're driving!" She shook her fist at the sports car that had just cut her off, before looking at Mewtwo again. "You don't normally look like you're getting skinned alive. What gives?"

(You sent the car in for maintenance, didn't you?)

"Ye-ah… Last week. I thought vegetables were good for your memory?"

Mewtwo frowned at her. (Whoever worked on the car moved the passenger seat up, and it won't move back. Until we get out, I won't be able to fix it.)

"Did you try kicking it?"

(While I'm sitting in it? Detective, I'm sorry, my legs don't bend that way.)

Brenda leaned over. "No, I guess they don't. Do you want me to stop at the next gas station? Fix it there?"

(I'd really like you to watch the road, actually…)

"I need to teach you how to drive."

(Shouldn't we go in and do the paperwork?)

Brenda made an aggrieved sound, and switched lanes. "You just have to be responsible, don't you?"

(It's a gift.)

Her answer was all of one finger. The driver of the sedan next to her saw it, thought it was a gesture for him, and started edging into her lane.

Mewtwo sighed. He hated driving.

Raynor wox up, his wood hard as wood. pikachuchu, like a chuchu train, was humping him.

"no time for luv, pika buddie. time to ifnd me som zerg ass... to tap... cuase i do that stuff... i totally got som, once."

Pika luked at him odddly, then went "pikachuuuuu!!"

They ran opff too gether, hand in hand, happy to hab safed the dayz.


End file.
